His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Randomize
