singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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