How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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