i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
