Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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