the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
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I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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