office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
