You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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