I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize