she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
