honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
