just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
