we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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