I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
