dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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