she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize