Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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