you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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