How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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