i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
