well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
