it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
