Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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