i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
