Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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