I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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