I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
