I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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