rhymes with "ouble enetration"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
