i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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