The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
