Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
