and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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