Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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