is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm too high and old for this...
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