I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
