Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
