Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
