she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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