There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
