Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
