I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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