I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
