did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
