I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
