i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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