Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
