dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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