Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
