Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize