I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
