Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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