I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
