now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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