Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
