I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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