I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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