Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
