You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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