I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
