Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
