piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
