She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
