I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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