kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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