I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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